he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Randomize
