It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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