I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
