scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
bring money and cleavage
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
