I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
When are your genitals available?
I want to fling myself into the sun
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
