: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
