Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
