Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize