Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
