Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
