they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
