I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
