he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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