so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
