I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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