I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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