Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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