Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
