At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
there is glitter all over my balls
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
