My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
