I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You can't motorboat a personality
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
