Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
