I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
