Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
