And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
