Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Randomize
