im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
