Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
