I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
