I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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