hell yes lets make some ravioli
Do vagina's smell?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
