i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
