i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
