"it" just moved
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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