Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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