Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Randomize
