I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
