The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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