I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
