Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
