I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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