Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
