i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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