my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
