I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
