My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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