love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Randomize
