I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
