We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
