I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
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