Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
