gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
