I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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