tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I can't trust your balls anymore.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
