sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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